Snapshots of a Wedding

Something for Valentines day …

IMG_1314I wrote this poem as I was looking through my wedding album many years ago. This evening, I am sad as I look at the photos and read over my poem.

I’m not sad that the marriage didn’t last; I married the wrong man. What’s sad is that I walked down the aisle fully intending to spend the rest of my life with my husband. We were full of great expectations. Yet, throughout, something was nagging at the back of my mind. I thought getting married would mend the problems we had, but it just made them permanent. My life now couldn’t be more different to the one I imagined that day. IMG_1313

Outside the chapel, Dad asked: ‘Are you sure about this? You don’t have to go through with it.’ I answered: ‘Yes, Dad. I do.’

Dad didn’t want me to get married that day. In the lead up to the wedding he’d asked me three times why I wanted to marry my boyfriend. I gave him the same answer each time. ‘Because marriage is a stable place to have a family, children. We want children.’

‘Wrong answer,’ he said. Three times.

Today, I know what the answer to that question should have been, and it’s so simple. Three words.

Anyway – here’s the poem. It was published in Poetry NZ back in 2008. I hope you enjoy.IMG_1316

Snapshots of a Wedding

 

Relatives in hats

line the pews like angry ducks,

hungry already.

 

You’re waiting outside,

a rose in your buttonhole.

The chapel looms.

 

The Rolls Royce vomits

on arrival and I am

spewed out too early.

 

Snarling our entrance

Dad and I smile for the shot.

Guests scurry inside.

 

That walk. Veil down. Go.

I keep my eyes on Jesus

and try to smile.

 

My skin is goose white

standing at the altar.

Lips match the red floor.

 

We each read our vows:

I will hold you in difficult times,

we promise.

 

We promise. The ducks

applaud their approval,

beaks nodding gleeful.

 

Such smiles as the sun

sets on a champagne glass.

Terror gone; love will last.

IMG_1315

4 thoughts on “Snapshots of a Wedding

  1. I was just talking to my daughter about his topic, my son went through a divorce recently. Choosing to get married for the wrong reasons is a common mistake, the idea of “love” sometimes pulls us into a marriage we arent meant to be in. I’m so sorry for your pain and loss, pray that the next time you fall in love it will be the kind of love that lasts a lifetime!

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts – it’s true that it’s so easy to make such huge mistakes in the people we choose to be with. I’m determined to get it right next time. I hope your son recovers from his heartbreak soon. It must be a difficult thing for a parent to watch. Thanks again.

      • I’m sure you will, if we learn from our choices that’s all that really matters! The best is yet to come! Yes it was heart breaking as a parent, especially one who. Mentors young people in this very area! But he is moving forward and is an amazing man. Thanks Becca. The best to you!! Lisa

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